420 ftw
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
