I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
