5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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