This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
