Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
