In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
