why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
