Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
our cab driver is having phone sex.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
