I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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