i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize