You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
