Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
