That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
