My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
