it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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