420 ftw
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
