So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
