Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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