If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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