i don't like sucking hair
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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