Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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