guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
