shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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