you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
