My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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