Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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