he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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