clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
bring money and cleavage
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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