can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
do herpes really smell.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
