So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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