hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
