Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize