They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
