we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
