Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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