Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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