what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She said her name was "party"
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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