I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
3 2 1 whiskey
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
