do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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