i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We have started to decorate penises.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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