believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Your cock deserves a montage
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
