Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Are we in a gay sports bar?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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