I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
