The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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