Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
