I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My bed smells like the plague
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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