next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
