Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.

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(858): View more from California

Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed

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(440): View more from Ohio

Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Somehow he made it really romantic

(503): View more from Oregon

He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?

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(904): View more from Florida

A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.

(904): View more from Florida

I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.

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(+61): View more from Australia

So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.

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