I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
