Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
