am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
All I want is dick and wine.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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