why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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