We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
