Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
