some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
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