'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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