Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
