I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
