sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
barbara walters just said penis...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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