She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
