Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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