I smell stomach acid.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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