I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
