remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
